


Don't You Know I Care?

by Annide



Category: House M.D.
Genre: M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 16:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9394094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annide/pseuds/Annide
Summary: House ended up in a hospital bed, again, but this time the familiar face of Wilson is missing from his bedside.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Français available: [Je Tiens à Toi](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10558042) by [Aclaude (Annide)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annide/pseuds/Aclaude)



                Once more, House found himself lying in one of the numerous beds of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. But this time was different. Because when he opened his eyes, he couldn't see his long time friend anywhere. What could possibly keep him away from him? While he was in a bad state, again. Maybe he finally had enough of him. This man was so good to him and House enjoyed it greatly, abused of that even. What if the idea that he only stayed with him for certain advantages, without appreciating him at all, insinuated itself in Wilson's mind? Thinking about it, he had quite a funny way of demonstrating his affection for the oncologist who must've been starting to doubt it a little.

                He looked around the room once more and wasn't surprised to notice Cuddy's presence. She'd gotten up to get closer to the bed as soon as she'd realised he'd woken up. It was clear she wanted to be mad at him, but he could see in her eyes, and the dried tears on her cheeks, that she was mostly worried.

                "How do you feel?"

                He had barely opened his mouth to give her an answer that he was interrupted by the entrance of four new people. A small glimmer of hope quickly left him as he was able to identify the newcomers. The oncologist wasn't among them. As usual, he didn't let his emotional pain show.

                Foreman checked the numbers on the monitors and went to lean by the window with Chase. Taub took House's chart from the foot of the bed, Thirteen shutting their boss up when he protested. They both stood there reading, making a face when they reached the end. Maybe no one had told them the details of how he'd gotten there yet.

                "What you did was incredibly stupid, you know that? You could've died." Thirteen said.

                "Yes, I think what you're failing to understand here is that the stupid part isn't the fact that I could've died, but that I failed to do so."

                As he saw all of their shocked faces, he immediately regretted admitting what his goal had been. He had wrongly assumed they had figured it out. He spoke again before any of them could say something annoying.

                "It doesn't matter anymore. I'm alive. I'm fine. Can you leave me alone now?"

                House wanted to be alone to think about a way to win back the heart of his friend, if he'd lost it. He didn't dare ask his visitors about the oncologist's absence, fearing their opinion of him might change if they realised he truly appreciated the company of someone other than himself.

                None of them wanted to leave, but, after some insistence from House, they did. Cuddy put a nurse in charge of making sure he didn't try anything, and she came back to check on him every half hour or so, though she followed his request and stayed outside his room.

                Days passed before House could leave his bed. And of course when he left his room for the first time, it wasn't after someone had allowed him. In fact, he'd been told several times not to do it. But he was now able to get up on his own and use the wheelchair left there to his request so he could go to the bathroom, so he grabbed his IV bag and rolled away.

                House had been careful to wait until the nurse switch so they'd be distracted as he made his exit. He knew they'd notice he was gone pretty quickly, but it was a big hospital, he had time before they found him. Cuddy would probably think he was trying to go home and wouldn't look around right away, which was exactly what he was counting on.

                Circulating in a wheelchair wasn't easy among all the people moving around the ICU floor. He wished he could simply walk with his cane like always, but he'd tried that multiple times and fell before he was even halfway to the bathroom. He finally made it up to the fourth floor and knocked on Wilson's office door.

                "Stop coming here, Cuddy. I'm not going to see him."

                So House had guessed right, his friend was avoiding him. He turned the handle, opened the door and rolled himself inside.

                "There's no need, I've come to see you myself. Though it usually goes the other way around in this situation. You look like you can walk, I can barely stand."

                "And whose fault is that?"

                He sounded angry. In his voice was none of the worry that House had seen in Cuddy's eyes. Something was utterly wrong. Wilson always worried about him, even when he was pissed at him.

                "Well..."

                "Don't even try to make me believe this was some kind of an experiment or I don't know what crazy story you were about to invent just now. I know perfectly what you were trying to do, House. You can fool everyone else, but not me. You tried to commit suicide."

                "I'm not denying it. Where have you been?"

                "Here. Working."

                "Where did I go too far that you won't even visit me in my hospital bed? And why couldn't you tell me about it before? This is your problem, Wilson. You're too nice to be direct and tell the truth like I do, but it'd be much better than waiting for me to get hurt again so you can avoid showing up at my bedside."

                "See, that's just it, House. That's where you went too far. I took you in and let you move in with me after you got out of the psychiatric hospital. I thought you were doing fine, or that you'd at least talk to me if you weren't. Clearly I was naively thinking you'd changed after all this, that us living together meant something. But you just went ahead and suffered on your own like always. You didn't come to me, or anyone else, for help. You don't even trust me. After all these years, I still don't matter."

                "You know I'm not that kind of person, Wilson. I don't talk about how I'm doing. I just take my pain out on other people and do stupid things to distract myself. And I didn't plan this. One day all this pain was too much and I couldn't take it anymore."

                "And nothing was worth even trying? You're so selfish, House. You keep everything to yourself to the point it drives you to hurt yourself and you don't even consider the option of coming to me in your worst moment. All I've done for you and you only think about me to use me, not when you really need me."

                Wilson stood up and walked around his desk to go look out his balcony door. He couldn't stand to look at House anymore, it hurt too much.

                "I wasn't thinking. You know if I had been I'd never had gone through with it. And I do care about you, Wilson."

                House decided to get up. He felt at a disadvantage down in this chair with his friend standing over there. He managed to stand and he made a few steps towards Wilson, then he fell. The oncologist heard him and kneeled down next to him to see if he was alright.

                "I'm sorry, Wilson. I've been terrible to you and I don't deserve you, but please don't leave me. I really do care about you. Don't go away. I'll take all the help you want to give me, as long as you stay with me."

                "Of course, I'm not going anywhere."

                House hesitantly put his hand through Wilson's hair then let it rest on the nape of his neck.

                "When I woke up, I kept looking for you, but you weren't there."

                "I'm here now."

                Wilson leaned over, put his hands around House's head and kissed him. It didn't fix anything, and still a lot of work was ahead. But Wilson had known all these years as he felt himself falling for him that he was broken and now House was finally ready to try to reach happiness.


End file.
